Secrets to a Successful
Marriage
Here are principles that will help you
create and maintain a successful marriage. Successful couples are
savvy. They read books, attend seminars, browse Web articles and
observe other successful couples. However, successful couples will
tell you that they also learn by experience – trial and error.
Happiness is not the most important
thing. Everyone wants to be happy, but happiness will come and go.
Successful couples learn to intentionally do things that will bring
happiness back when life pulls it away. Couples discover the value in
just showing up. When things get tough and couples don't know what to
do, they need to hang in there and be there for their spouse. Time
has a way of helping couples work things out by providing
opportunities to reduce stress and overcome challenges.
If you do what you always do, you will
get same result. Wise couples have learned that you have to approach
problems differently to get different results. Often, minor changes
in approach, attitude and actions make the biggest difference in
marriage.Your attitude does matter. Changing behavior is important,
but so is changing attitudes. Bad attitudes often drive bad feelings
and actions.
Change your mind, change your
marriage. How couples think and what they believe about their spouse
affects how they perceive the other. What they expect and how they
treat their spouse matters greatly. The grass is greenest where you
water it. Successful couples have learned to resist the grass is
greener myth – i.e. someone else will make me happy. They have
learned to put their energy into making themselves and their marriage
better.
You can change your marriage by
changing yourself. Veteran couples have learned that trying to change
their spouse is like trying to push a rope – almost impossible.
Often, the only person we can change in our marriage is ourselves.
Love is a verb, not just a feeling. Everyday life wears away the
"feel good side of marriage." Feelings, like happiness,
will fluctuate. But, real love is based on a couple's vows of
commitment: "For better or for worse" – when it feels
good and when it doesn't.
Marriage is often about fighting the
battle between your ears. Successful couples have learned to resist
holding grudges, bringing up the past and remembering that they
married an imperfect person – and so did their spouse. A crisis
doesn't mean the marriage is over. Crises are like storms: loud,
scary and dangerous. But to get through a storm you have to keep
driving. A crisis can be a new beginning. It's out of pain that great
people and marriages are produced.
By Katula for more information visit
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